It seems that most people in society are trying to either get of one, or trying to work out why their present relationship is so difficult!So for the average person on the autistic spectrum, relationships can add an extra layer of complication in an already confusing life.Besides, you already know these methods don’t work. You can’t fairly deny the result of hurtful behavior simply because it was not undertaken with a goal of causing harm.
The problem is that they backfire; by using them, you generally end up feeling more hurt.
Then the ground is fertile for resentment and contempt, and—as John Gottman has repeatedly pointed out—once these emotions enter a relationship, it is very difficult to retrieve mutual respect and rebuild. The better solution is to acknowledge that although there was no intention to hurt you, your partner’s words DID hurt you.
If you are involved in a relationship with a person who has been diagnosed with Asperger’s syndrome, officially known as high-functioning autism (HFA), you’re likely familiar with this scenario: You have a discussion with your partner. In this case, you have to struggle with the realization that your partner did not mean to hurt you.
This is different from other conversations that go off the rails.
From a personal point of view, I frequently get myself into confrontational situations.
Often this is because I misjudge my partners mood or intentions, and sometimes appear uninterested in their feelings.
We may not notice that the person we are talking to, is feeling uncomfortable and trying to make a quick getaway!
We often battle with self esteem and low self confidence when talking to someone of the opposite sex which may not be very appealing to the potential NT partner.
After all, behind the autism people still have personality traits.
According to Harvard Health Publishing: there is fascinating — and compelling — research suggesting that married people enjoy better health than single people.
—you’re hit with something hurtful that takes the wind out of your sails.