Consider the perspective of the person you're messaging. Given that you're on platforms that are theoretically more geared toward finding a relationship versus a hookup, comments on appearance can come off as shallow, potentially signaling that you're looking for something more superficial. "You're cute" isn't just superficial, it's not a great way to start a conversation. I'm going to shoot real straight with you here: Women you message don't owe you anything, particularly not gratitude for unsolicited comments on their looks.
Welcome to CNET's online dating advice column where we answer your questions on avoiding the pitfalls of online dating. And how do you get started online when you've been out of the dating game for a minute? Turns out I brought fruit snacks AND opinions to work today. A: Has a cat ever dropped a dead mouse at your feet?
I'm Erin Carson, staff reporter, resident young-enough-person, refrigerdating correspondent, curator of odd stuff on the internet, most likely to leave you on "read." I will be your guide. You're standing there like, "Uh, buddy, I'm not sure what you want me to do with this." The cat clearly thinks it's great, but you're kinda put off, wishing you could talk to them about boundaries and how the murder of small woodland creatures is an unsettling way to express affection.
No one has the time or emotional fortitude for that) and some general do's and don'ts of creating a profile. You might be on a platform that gives you only a few hundred characters in which to express your charming self. Your feelings on fun would be notable only if you hated fun -- that would be a headline (also, you might be a psychopath). (Looking for low mileage either way, though, amma right?
I'll show myself out.) Keep your bio upbeat, honest and concise.
Second, they sound like an exact description of the writer’s ex.
Don’t even think about posting a dating advert without a photo. You meet, and the blood drains from their face as they realise that your photo was taken 10 years, five stone and 500 wrinkles ago. You don’t have to write someone an epic love letter (please don’t) – just pick out a couple of appealing points in their bio and write a quick intro message. Some rookies assume that they must answer every email, even if it’s “thanks, but no thanks”. “Thanks but no thanks” can feel more hurtful than no reply.
Most grown-ups have a history of exes, hang-ups and maybe a nervous breakdown or two. They know that you have a past, but they don’t want to hear about it. Some online dating profiles read like shopping lists.
They’re looking for someone with brown eyes, short hair, between 5’10” and 6′, from west London, and so on. First, they make the writer sound like a control freak.
A picture-less ad says: “I am so ugly I didn’t want to risk a photo,” “I am married,” or “I am on the run from Broadmoor.” Everyone who likes your main photo will want to see more. Whether you’re a man or a woman, an unnatural photo with your shirt off makes you look desperate and/or only interested in sex. This is a cruel fact of life for online dating beginners, especially men. Likewise, you won’t “keep them keen” by making them wait days for a reply. Don’t allow an email conversation to drag on for weeks without a date.
Not because they can’t get enough of you, but because a single photo is not a reliable indicator of what you look like. Use photos and messages for spotting potential, but don’t start fancying the pants off a two-dimensional image. More men than women advertise on most dating sites, so the girls get the pick of the bunch. Read the profiles that get most views, and pick up tips from them. You may think you’re “connecting”, but you can’t judge chemistry unless you meet up.
When it comes to online dating, it's helpful to embrace the mindset that everyone's there for the same reason: They're all humans beings looking for other human beings. Since you mentioned bios, I'm going to focus on that. Also, steer clear of negative statements ("ferret owners, swipe left!