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A third of black women who got a bachelor’s degree between 20 left with more than ,000 in student loan debt, compared to just 10 percent of white women.We then have the hardest time paying these loans back, thanks to persistent gender and racial wage gaps: In 2016, the median weekly earning for white women was 6, for black women it was just 1.

I don’t want to get married and the reason why is complicated. In our time together, we’ve continually managed to gracefully overcome standard relationship issues, like establishing sexual boundaries and making time for one another despite hectic schedules.

My lack of desire to tie the knot is not because I do not have a significant other that I love. Since our chance meeting that day at the park, I’ve had a partner in the true sense of the word. He held my right leg and counted down from ten on every contraction, while I pushed our baby girl into the world.

I finally felt confident enough in our relationship to say “yes” to the big question.

And yet, I’m hesitant to actually walk down the aisle. ” he asked casually over dinner a few months after bringing our baby home from the hospital. I was a 21-year-old college student trying to find a committed, respectful relationship in the midst of New York City hook-up culture.

I shrugged and stared at my plate, trying to avoid eye contact. Men were more interested in getting a drink and going back to my place than they were in my name, let alone my hobbies or passions.

I blamed all my bad dates on the city’s commitment-phobic dating scene. Female friends all over the country are having difficulties finding a partner worth marrying, especially if they’re black.

Marriage , usually because their income combined with their spouse’s disqualifies them for the Earned Income Tax Credit.

This disqualification could cost us as much as ,000 come tax time.

Banks’ book laid out the reason why plainly: Dating is a numbers game—one that is rigged against me and women who look like me. Black men are roughly seven times more likely to be killed than black women.

“All of the guys I grew up with are either dead or locked up,” my partner once explained as we drove through the Jersey City neighborhood of his childhood. Even if black men overcome all this—if they survive, if they thrive—they do not want to marry a woman like me.

I’ve adored my partner since the moment I first saw him playing basketball alone at a local park. He beamed at her with love as she snuggled on his chest during “skin-to-skin” time.