Let me preface this Q&A by saying that I’m not typically one to offer simple cookie-cutter answers, because as a Professional Counselor, I find that everything in life is so much more complex than it may seem on the outside- including answers to questions like this.But as I’ve been stewing over this question for a while, a couple things came to mind as to why this concern keeps coming up again and again: MEN ARE INUNDATED WITH CHOICE: It doesn’t take a relationship expert to tell you that in this day and age, one of the biggest problems with lack of decision-making in relationships is the fact that there are simply too many choices!
To these men I would say that it’s time to stop believing the lies and trust nothing less than what God says about who you are in Christ!
You have been given everything you need in Jesus Christ to live out the calling God has placed on you.
God does not give us a spirit of fear, but of power. MEN ARE ALSO STRUGGLING WITH INSECURITIES AND DOUBTS: Another big-picture reason why I believe that our men aren’t taking next steps in relationships is because they are filled with doubts.
I think one of the greatest plans of the Enemy to destroy Christian families is to fill our men with fear and doubt so that they end up living their life standing still instead of moving into all that God has called them to.
I think part of the problem in the illusion of choice is that when presented with so many decisions to make, one often ends up not making any decisions at all. It’s as though we’re hoping that by not making a choice, somehow a choice will magically be made for us.
We tend to freeze, to stall, to wait, and to postpone decision making out of fear of making the wrong choice. I personally know plenty of Christian men who have fallen into that trap, rejecting the bright, godly, amazing women God has put in front of their eyes out of fear of missing out on something or someone that might not even exist.
I’ve heard these question countless times and have even been the one asking the question once upon a time.
In Christian circles, it’s not uncommon to hear the women complaining that the men in their church just aren’t stepping up and initiating a relationship!
Because the opposite of fear and doubt is a man of confidence and faith- which is the exact thing that terrifies the enemy.
Can you imagine what would happen if all of our men submitted to God’s Spirit, and were filled with confidence, power, faith, and strength?
And stick around for all 10 posts in our 10-part Dating Q&A series!