After my last divorce I thought I met my soul mate but that relationship ended after 5 years.
Since then I’ve done a lot of soul searching and focused on living the life I want while continuing to date around, this time with more consciousness of how I tend to settle and determined to find what I really want in a partner and relationship.
Being older didn't make me wiser, and being a therapist didn't give me an edge in making that marriage work.
My two divorces taught me that, indeed, like it or not, agree with it or not, we do have non-negotiable requirements that must be met for a relationship to work.
When you are complete and whole, you don’t need your partner to complete you or do or say anything for you to be OK.
When two complete and whole people love each other, they can be apart and the love and connection doesn’t diminish, doesn’t go away or sink into emotional deficit. I require a soul mate My soul mate will match and mirror me in some ways, complement and challenge me in others, fitting with me like hand in glove which results in manifesting all of the above.
My commitment to myself is to not settle for less than this as I have before, which means (in my language/paradigm) they are more than wants or needs, they are requirements.
I trust that this is possible, that I deserve it, am capable of this kind of relationship, that if I don’t settle for less I will find my soul mate and experience this kind of relationship.
My best friendships and relationships are with people that are able to practically see inside me and understand where I’m coming from.
My most difficult relationships are with people that see me through filters so opaque with their own stuff that my good heart and intentions are unseen. I require a relationship that brings out the best in me as I bring out the best in my partner.
Of course I want to be happy and for my partner to be happy.
But I've learned that you can’t find happiness by focusing on yourself and your needs in a self-centered way.
Your search to find your special someone can be frustrating and time consuming.