Consider his emotional availability, the circumstances of his marriage and divorce (Was it amicable? Listen closely as he shares his past with you to better gauge where he is emotionally and if he has truly moved on and is ready to be a partner to you.Rather than focusing on the the length of time he has been divorced, you’ll get much better information by tuning into what he is saying and how it makes you feel.
Separation and divorce are two of the most emotionally draining, difficult, and painful life events someone can go through, and many married people will experience these stressors in their lifetime.
While every divorce is unique, common themes and feelings are likely to emerge during this transition period.
Wanting to be ready to move on post-divorce is different than actually being ready.
The difference between the two is based on a number of individualized factors. ), and his capacity to own and reflect on what happened.
These are all indicators that your relationship is not the real deal, and, while this reality stings, it is not about you.
It shows he has a lot of work to do to process his divorce, and it’s best to stop dating him if you are looking for a genuine lasting connection.Anger, disappointment, and resentment may brew, especially if the blame game is being played, and hurt feelings may come to the surface as the loss of the marriage is processed.Post-divorce is a time to separate from the role of spouse, redefine who you are, and accept a new identity and lifestyle.The fact that he has been married before shows he is not a complete commitment-phobe, so instead of being intimidated by his ex or previous marriage, view his past in a positive light and as a signal he is comfortable with settling down.He has experience being in a committed relationship and understands what this means, which may make him a better, more attentive and supportive partner to you.If you’re truly open to dating a divorced man, you must also accept that his ex will remain a part of his life.