And you’re all too young to get married.”Based only on informal polling, I would bet most people would probably prefer to experience or witness a broken engagement than a divorce.One of the last statements in Tractate Gittin (90b) is Rabbi Elazar’s comment that when a divorce takes place, even the mizbeach (altar) sheds tears.
Sometimes you need to sacrifice yourself so the other person can shine. How does the “love love love” feeling drastically switch (in such a short time) to “divorce”?Could it be we are not teaching ourselves that problems can come up and we need to deal with them?The first few miles of any new road can be bumpy, but that doesn’t mean it’s an altogether bad road. Some things creep up and come out in a way a person might never know until a man and woman share a roof.In some cases, there can be no reparation and the two parties will really have a miserable marriage if they stay together.How does one communicate intimate, private thoughts about very personal dilemmas that one has never shared with anyone before?
It sometimes takes time to really get to know and trust one’s spouse.
Marriage and moving usually take place at the same time, and if the wife or husband is from “out of town,” the move can be even more traumatic.
The two people need to be there for each other, to trust each other, to share with each other, validate feelings, work together, see a marriage counselor if necessary, and work through kinks.
This is why the Torah describes a method of divorce, why an entire tractate of the Talmud is dedicated to the topic, and why a complete section of the Shulchan Arukh is devoted to interpersonal relationships between men and women in the context of marriage and divorce. But divorce after a four-month marriage shouldn’t always be the answer to what seem to be, after such a short time, irreconcilable differences.
Randy Bruce Traywick (born May 4, 1959), known professionally as Randy Travis, is an American country music and Christian country music singer, songwriter, guitarist, and actor.
Unquestionably, men and women go into marriages with different expectations.