This dude escaped out the back and she went searching for him. I had to “excuse myself” so I could hide out in the bathroom and write down as much of the crazy things this woman was saying before I forgot. I suppose “interesting” was one word I could use to describe him.
Straight up thought he had disappeared out of the bar. Topics included, but were not limited to: Daddy issues, her mother loves her brother more, miscarriage, being married before, when “we” start dating, when “we” are married, setting me up with her assistant, how she’ll “screw me with blood on my face,” things she does when she’s high, Brazilian trance music, adopting children, what’s my dog’s name again, how she doesn’t trust animated movies, why she was 20 minutes late, owning a business, when it’s acceptable to use the c-word, being a vegetarian, her blind cat, her dying uncle, abusive relationships, the city of Tampa, free-range urination, and can we order tater tots. We start the date by getting lunch and a few beers at my favorite spot in town.
Screw me, was I ever wrong…I thought to myself, “I’ll reach over and move her hair out of her face which will then lead into the kiss and it’ll be cute.” So, I lean in and reach over to move the hair from her face and make my ‘smooth move’…as my hand got to within 6 inches of the target zone she comes out of absolutely nowhere, reaches up, and moves the freaking hair herself!!Damn…So at this point, I’m 90% committed, hand located somewhere in front of her face, with no clear objective, and not to mention, obviously blocking her view of the movie. We have the most one-sided conversation of me asking questions and him giving one-word answers.Nobody ever said dating was easy, but nobody ever said it was supposed to be this hard!From crazies to creeps, the people of the internet have been on every kind of bad date imaginable—and we’ve collected their most insane stories here for your enjoyment.Game over, date finished, we went and sat on her couch for an hour and then I went home. I took a girl who I really liked on a first date to the movies.
The movies were probably a bad choice because I couldn’t take my eyes off her.He asked for more wine and then I had to cut him off.So he got up and tried to run out of the restaurant with a bottle he grabbed from a rack.She kept telling him he was lucky that she agreed to meet him at all, and she didn’t think he’d be this boring.She ordered about 5 or 6 LITs and several shots, he literally just had two beers. My favorite part was that he excused himself to go to the bathroom and left through the fire escape. To be clear, there was only one official entrance and exit. Met one guy who was super cute, traveled a lot, and seemed interesting.I immediately become nervous and I’m having second thoughts about my decision, but I’m a committed and confident guy who doesn’t back down from a challenge. He said he brought no money because he doesn’t pay for dates on principle. When we got back to our cars (an hour later) I told him he didn’t really seem like he was into me and suggested we cut the “date” short. “You said you had 3 hours and it’s only been an hour, you liar! Our date is supposed to last 2 more hours.” Fine dude.