For others it’s trying to beat a particular date – our 18th or 21st birthdays, high-school or college graduation, before summer’s over, before getting married.
The fear for guys is that by being a virgin past this nebulous date, they will have not only missed their chance to sew their wild oats – because of course, nobody over the age of 35 has no-strings-attached sex but they will be so clearly marked as “damaged goods” that no woman would possibly want them.
It rapidly becomes a case of self-fulfilling prophecy; they believe that there is something shameful and wrong about being a virgin at such an “advanced” age and so it bleeds into other aspects of their lives.Some may become bitter and resentful, feeling as though they’re being cheated of something that they’re rightfully “owed”.Others will have their pre-existing approach anxiety ramped up to near pathological levels, leaving them with anxiety attacks and a crippling shyness around people they’re attracted to.Still others will be unpleasantly needy or put all of their focus on just trying to find someone to sleep with, instead of dealing with them as people.Wilt Chamberlin may have been a great basketball player, but he’s for his supposed number of conquests. Sure, he may have created one of the most iconic rock bands in history and written songs that continue to resonate with each generation of listeners… For them, sex is commodified as an equivalent to purity: the less sex she has had, the higher her value.
A virgin, therefore, is the ultimate expression of virtue and goodness (and thus priceless) and any woman who has an excessive number of sex partners (for a suitably subjective value of “excessive”) is degraded.In Japan, there are references to a woman as a “Christmas cake” – it may look tasty, but nobody wants it after the 25th.The problem is that – for the most part – these fears are .Because of all of the importance placed on the concept of virginity, people are convinced that having passed some arbitrary cut-off point that they have rendered themselves utterly unfuckable and have somehow missed on a critical aspect of growing up.They may get older but they will never truly be Virginity has an outsized level of influence in Western culture, especially in countries with large conservative religious communities; the idea of sex and “purity” get completely intertwined and then but up against gender roles that completely contradict those values.Even a woman’s hymen is no demarcator of virginity; many will rupture their hymen long before they’ve had penetrative vaginal intercourse.