Life isn’t always easy, but I can say confidently that HIV has not stopped me from meeting and dating and fucking sexy people.
I use it as a litmus test to weed out unwanted partners: If you’re not cool with my status, you don’t get the rest of me.
When you’re undetectable, HIV does not change how you look. Some of the most attractive people in your neighborhood may have HIV.
Compare that number to people who have been recently diagnosed and are not yet taking medication — their tests can show millions of copies of HIV in one millimeter of blood.
When you are undetectable, the virus is unable to trigger antibody tests, which are the tests used to tell if someone has HIV.
The sooner you start meds and take them diligently (meaning every day), the sooner you will become undetectable.
People with an undetectable viral load — I’ll explain what that means in the next question — are unable to transmit the virus.
But there are medicines so effective that they’ve been called a “functional cure.” Which is to say: They don’t remove HIV from your body completely, but they reduce it to the point where the virus is so benign that it is untransmittable, and you can live a healthy, normal, happy, sexy life. I am in a serodiscordant relationship, which means I am HIV-positive and my partner is HIV-negative.
I know countless long-term, happy serodiscordant couples.How do I tell people I want to have sex with that I am HIV positive?The standard practice in the United States is to get HIV positive people on medication as soon as possible.(Your HIV is unable to be detected by the test — hence, it is “undetectable.”)This is the healthiest you can be without being HIV negative.When you are undetectable, you are unable to transmit the virus.In the beginning, I felt it was my responsibility to educate potential sex partners who didn’t know all this terminology — guys with no idea what “undetectable” meant. It’s not my responsibility to educate anyone on the modern realities of HIV.