Remember – you can choose what to think about any situation.You can choose to believe that someone is scary, or better than you or unmanageable and feel the accompanying negative emotions (working for you??
didn’t think so…) or you can choose to see the inner child in someone and experience the emotions associated with that thought.Believe it or not, we all feel like children inside, no matter what age we are.In order to appeal the child in another adult, it is important to act like an adult dealing with a difficult child. When you approach them with curiosity it takes them by surprise and they often begin to unravel when they are asked to explain themselves in more detail.Stick to the facts and take the dignified path always. Never be confrontational or belittling with intimidating people. Ironically, many intimidating people have learned this behaviour due to feeling powerless and unheard as children.The more emotional intelligence one has the easier it is to deal with intimidation from others.
As a general rule, I have often found that the people I encounter who are aggressive, judgemental, miserable, rude or just plain horrid usually have a reason for being the way they are.
As a Psychologist, I find it easy to look beyond the behaviour to the underlying reasons. Having said that, understanding the reasons doesn’t automatically make me like someone! When we come across an angry and unhappy person, many of us take this behaviour personally. I remember when I worked at Broadmoor Hospital, we would have supervision to help us cope with the various personalities we had to deal with.
The person who had come to talk to us explained that the aggressive and intimidating behaviour that we received most days from those held in Broadmoor was more about them than it was about us.
There is a very clever way to deal with this situation.
Every single one of us was a child once, fairly powerless and open to the rules, restrictions and attitudes of the ‘powerful’ adults around us.
may intimidate the human race into bringing order into its international affairs" (Albert Einstein).