‘It would have been nice not to be judged on something so inconsequential, it’s not as though I’ve got “moron” inked across my face.’ ‘Years ago, I decided to try speed dating. ‘Later, my friend, who was in the round after mine, revealed that they had all told her how mean the previous girl had been. ‘Last week, I went to a speed dating event where one of the female guests had brought her mum along.
‘It was the late ’00s and vampires were big business back then, but still. ‘I immediately packed up to leave, pausing only to text my friends a drunk, brief message that said: “Got bit.Going home.” ‘This was my first and last foray into speed dating.’ ‘I’ve only been speed dating once but it was enough to cement my hatred for it. It was based around food, everyone sat in groups of six and had ten minutes to chat per course.‘I casually started chatting to the guy at the end of the night.He’d had a lot to drink, and admitted to having paid off the toilet attendant to let the pair of them go into the male toilets and do the nasty. Imagine this: you’re stuck in an elevator and have less than 60 seconds to pitch your business idea to the interested party.
Those 60 seconds could change your life, but only if you figure out the right thing to say. Stressful, awkward and with me nervously rambling on, all the while hoping my date doesn’t notice the sweaty hand marks on my cocktail glass.
‘After a few rounds, the host gently suggested that the mother leave the room, but by then the damage was already done.
‘It was incredibly weird, and I don’t think the poor girl got any matches.
‘Sadly, I didn’t get as lucky.’ ‘The actual speed dating went okay.
However, during the socialising afterwards, some guy attempted to crack on to me by biting my neck.
Public displays affection when you’re in a relationship are very common in Brazil.