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That's not easy for Frind, who seems most comfortable with the world at arm's length. "And he doesn't like conflict." Frind prefers to remain a silent observer of others, who then constructs arguments and counterarguments about their motivations.

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Another memorable valentine involved the secret consumption of a massive quantity of hot peppers.

Though his mouth was on fire, Frind calmly planted a kiss on Kanciar's lips and feigned ignorance as she went scrambling for water.

But then, you tend to attract advertisers' attention when you are serving up 1.6 billion webpages each month.. Today, according to the research firm Hitwise, his creation is the largest dating website in the U. Amazingly, Frind has set up his company so that doing everything else amounts to doing almost nothing at all.

"I usually accomplish everything in the first hour," he says, before pausing for a moment to think this over.

When he does engage in conversation, Frind can be disarmingly frank, delivering vitriolic quips with a self-assured cheerfulness that feels almost mean.

Yahoo (NASDAQ: YHOO), he says, is "a complete joke," Google (NASDAQ: GOOG) is "a cult," and Match is "dying." Says Mark Brooks, a marketing consultant who has advised Frind since 2006, "I've never known anybody so competitive.Frind's online dating company, Plenty of Fish, is newly located on the 26th floor of a downtown skyscraper with a revolving restaurant on the roof.The gleaming space could easily house 30 employees, but as Frind strides in, it is eerily quiet -- just a room with new carpets, freshly painted walls, and eight flat-screen computer monitors.Frind, 30, doesn't seem like the sort of fellow who would run a market-leading anything.Quiet, soft-featured, and ordinary looking, he is the kind of person who can get lost in a roomful of people and who seems to take up less space than his large frame would suggest.In most stories, this is where the hard work begins -- the long hours, sleepless nights, and near-death business experiences. Frind takes it easy, working no more than 20 hours a week during the busiest times and usually no more than 10.