I never worked up the courage to tell my family and friends about the diagnosis. I have had a couple of meaningful relationships with women who “also” had it. But, I never actually even attempted to date a non-infected person.
A lot of us get very fearful when speaking about sex.
As an OBGYN and as a person who is herpes-positive, I think it is really important to talk to your partner before [sex] and say, 'I wanna make sure you are OK with this because I don't want to jeopardize your health.'"The next steps that you should take to keep you and your partner healthy include the use of condoms and medication. Loanzon explains that they are only 96 percent effective, not 100 percent.
And that is daily dosing of an antiviral mediation, which can help decrease viral shedding significantly so that your partner wont end up being exposed.""The misconception is that people with herpes are promiscuous, dirty people," says Dr.
Loanzon, but as she can attest, "I had been a virgin of sexual intercourse when I was 20 years old.
We all don't do it 100 percent correctly the first time, but by shifting perspective and knowing that we are not alone, it gives that comfort level and that confidence to really move forward."Since there are many ways to protect oneself and many people actually aren't afraid of herpes, it is very likely that you too will be able to find accepting partners on your own.
But it good to know that there are also plenty of dating apps and sites specifically for people who have an STD — that's how common it is to have herpes. "It took a lot of work and the realization that I was created perfectly exactly as I am, and if somebody doesn't love me for that aspect, there are plenty of [people] out there who are very interested in this beautiful, shiny self that I am," she tells Bustle. Loanzon realized this about herself, she changed her perspective in dating and self acceptance, and says, " ..world opened up."Here's why you shouldn't feel ashamed if you have herpes. It's a normal, non-life threatening part of a lot of people's lives. Loanzon contracted the virus when she had not yet even had vaginal intercourse — only oral sex with her college boyfriend.It doesn't make sense that STIs are so stigmatized when you look at the statistics. Loanzon explains, the secrecy with which we discuss herpes clouds our perception of how common the virus truly is. Herpes is not a virus that only affects one type of person, nor is it only spread in one specific way.She has already heard from many readers who see themselves in her story: "We're all having the same experience, yet nobody is talking about it. [If] you ended up [getting] herpes, we can choose to grow from it or we can crumble underneath the diagnosis," she says.One of my girlfriends who is a plastic surgeon just told me, 'Several years ago, breast cancer was a taboo thing, and now everybody knows someone who has breast cancer.' I'd really like to move [herpes] into that commonplace topic."While herpes is her platform, Dr. "It is about self-worth and self-love," she says, and how she learned to accept herself regardless of how others interpreted her health status. "Herpes can be a curse that can just upend a person, but it can slingshot you into so much more emotional growth than [you] can even expect...This stigmatization of herpes creates internalized shame in anybody who has the virus.