You've probably been there — staring at your blank laptop or phone screen, wondering what to write to someone online or on a dating app. Hinge, the dating app that connects you to matches via Facebook (your friends and friends of friends), wondered the same thing.“Everyday, the Hinge team is asked if we know the secret to starting a great conversation that will actually lead somewhere. Since it’s our mission to help users move beyond the swipe, to connect over something interesting and to ultimately meet up — we decided to find out,” Karen Fein, Hinge’s VP of Marketing, said in the press release announcing the results. Their copywriters and data analysts wrote up over 100 original openers (which varied in subject matter, structure, and length).
You don't just want to do what so many people out there seem to do and write, “Hey” or “What's up?
Then, 22 percent of Hinge users received various conversation-starters to choose from and the study was underway.
What Hinge found out about the best opening messages can benefit daters everywhere, so keep it in mind next time you're on a swiping spree and later need to (actually) start messaging people.
Hinge found these conversation-starter trends in some top cities: San Francisco: “Peter Pan Syndrome”Conversation-starter: Youth or childhood nostalgia = 68 percent higher response rates in San Fran than in other cities. Boston: “No Nonsense”Conversation-starter: Straightforward or cynical = 59 percent higher response rates in Boston than in other cities.
Flirting is fun, but when you’re doing it online you need to be slower about it than normal.
Because your partner can’t see you, or the signals you’re sending, flirting too early in an online exchange can be a huge turn-off.In my experience, it’s best to meet up earlier rather than later – like before you know .Seriously, men are the worst offenders here – don’t talk about the size of ANYTHING until you at least know what her favorite drink is (and have bought her a few)! Don’t write long essays about yourself, which seem extremely interesting to you, but might not be all that easy to reply to.Going back to the good old questions, instead of asking him or her something dull such as “what did you eat for lunch? Ask “Why are you a cat person when everyone knows that dog people make better lovers? Nothing kills a conversation early on like pushing boundaries waaaay too far (like being outright mean or vulgar).” Or poke fun at their answers in a flirty way (“Oh, you’re a Star Wars fan? When you’re messaging almost anonymously, it can be easy to exaggerate or outright lie to make yourself look better. One, because it will get awkward if you ever do meet up, and two, it’s human (and often ) to have flaws – embrace them, and your partner will too.If you’re not proud of your height, say, “I’m short, but what I lack in height, I make up for in over-confidence.” Make your flaws into a joke that you can both laugh about – they’ll be more likely to share theirs, so you don’t get any special surprises when you end up meeting.