And I said, ‘You know, God, you can do much better than me.
Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night. My God, it’s hard enough finding your way around in Chinatown.Comedy just pokes at problems, rarely confronts them squarely. If you don’t have a good partner, you’d better have a good hand.– Woody Allen 3.) Eighty percent of success is showing up.– Woody Allen 4.) Life is full of misery, loneliness, and suffering – and it’s all over much too soon.– Woody Allen 20.) I feel that life is divided into the horrible and the miserable. The horrible are like, I don’t know, terminal cases, you know, and blind people, crippled. – Woody Allen23.) It figures you’ve got to hate yourself if you’ve got any integrity at all. I think that the worst you can say about him is that basically he’s an underachiever.
– Woody Allen 24.) I should stop ruining my life searching for answers I’m never gonna get, and just enjoy it while it lasts. It could be so wonderful if it wasn’t for certain people. – Woody Allen 30.) It’s not that I’m afraid to die, I just don’t want to be there when it happens.As we know, for centuries Rome regarded the Open Hot Turkey Sandwich as the height of licentiousness. I prefer watching baseball with a beer and some meatballs. I’d be at home in the bath and she’d come in and sink my boats.Between the Pope and air conditioning, I’d choose air conditioning. – Woody Allen 2.) The talent for being happy is appreciating and liking what you have, instead of what you don’t have. 1.) I am thankful for laughter, except when milk comes out of my nose.– Woody Allen 33.) His lack of education is more than compensated for by his keenly developed moral bankruptcy.